Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
