This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
