Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
