I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
