Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
