I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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