And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
