their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
