i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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