can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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