Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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