You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
