I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How naked do you want me to be?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
