Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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