Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Shame - the story of my life.
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