I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
