It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
