He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
