There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
