If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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