Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
