Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
