Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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