Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
