I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
