is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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