she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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