my mouth tastes like poor choices
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
