He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
