His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
