Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
