just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
