She is in my trunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
