Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
