"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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