Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
