I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
