listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
