Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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