you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
