id be glad to
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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