she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
