no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
