i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A bitchslap is in order.
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