Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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