maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
only you would photoshop your dick
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
