Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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