Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
