there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
