so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
