tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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