I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
