Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What drink are we having for lunch?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
