My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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